With the upcoming Halloween holiday, I think it’s only appropriate to enjoy scary stories and TV specials. I am very interested in the paranormal, ghosts, and haunted locations.

That being said, I do not like scary movies. If I happen to watch a scary movie, I have a particular set of rules that must be followed.

1)   All scary movies must be watched on a small screen. This means nothing bigger than my little 12-inch TV in my bedroom. This makes me feel larger than the scary stuff; therefore, I shouldn’t be afraid of small amounts of blood and beheadings.

2)   All scary movies must be watched with the lights on. (This shouldn’t need any explaining)

3)   A “happy” show or movie must be “on deck” for post-movie thoughts. I fancy a nice, cheerful “Friends” episode.

4)   Never go directly to bed after watching a scary movie. It causes insomnia and nightmares. See rule 3.

5)   And last, do not be alone while watching a spooky movie. I personally prefer the company of humans. Nothing against our fuzzy friends, but animals hear everything, resulting in more paranoia.

I do not deviate from these rules. Each time I tried to skip one in the past, it results in weeks of being jumpy and looking/investigating every noise.

Wait…..did you hear that?

Happy Halloween everyone.